Bringing Happiness into your Life

1. Control Your Thoughts.

It is our thoughts that determine our state of mind. If we engage in negative, destructive thoughts, we can never have peace of mind and happiness. When angry and negative thoughts try to enter, we can decide to not pursue them. If we say no to wrong thoughts, they will eventually stop bothering us.

2. Focus on Good Things.

Most humans are a mixture of good and bad. If a close friend does something wrong, the nature of the mind, is to dwell on his imperfections. However, when we are criticising others we can never be happy; by seeing the bad in others, we do not help either ourselves or others. If somebody has annoyed us, try to force yourself to think of some of their good qualities. When we remember their good qualities, we help to be more forgiving of their failings. Others will definitely appreciate us, if we forget and forgive their mistakes. This is a great boon for bringing more happiness into our lives.

3. Don't Let Yourself get Bored.

If we feel bored and have nothing to do, then happiness is difficult if not impossible to achieve. The mind likes to be active. It is best to look for something that requires our active participation; if we look for passive entertainment, like watching TV, we do not engage our mental and physical faculties. Often a real sense of happiness can come from a sense of achievement.

4. Don't wait for Outer circumstances to be favourable.

Often we think that happiness will come when our outer circumstances improve. However, in reality the world is always creating problems; If we wait for the world to attain perfection, we will never have an iota of happiness. To achieve inner happiness, we need to cultivate an attitude of detachment. This does not mean we will be uncaring, it just means we will not be overly influenced by the depressing things that can happen in the world.

5. Meditation

Our inner happiness can be cultivated through the practise of meditation. Meditation helps us to control the mind and our thoughts. If we can have a silent mind, then it allows our inner, spontaneous joy to come to the fore. This happiness is not dependent on outer circumstances, but comes from our own soul. meditation is not the same as just sitting still quietly; real meditation is the expansion of our consciousness. When we no longer are constrained by the limitations and anxieties of our ego, we will discover an abiding sense of satisfaction and happiness.

I am very happy


Because I have conquered myself


And not the world.


I am very happy


Because I have loved the world


And not myself.

- Sri Chinmoy

How To Remain Positive In Your Everyday Life

We are always facing different situations in our daily lives. Sometimes it's the positive and it can make you smile, while other times we will be facing the negative and it will make you frown. If you are giving out more frown than smile in your everyday life, if you are facing more frustration than joy and you just cannot explain why, this article is written for you.

It's a list of techniques and ideas that you can use to brighten up your life, no matter if you are facing the gloomy situation or a stormy one.

Criticize yourself – It is good to criticize yourself once in awhile. Most people hate to be criticize, but if you can nurture the habit of self-awareness by criticizing yourself, you also will find that you are looking ways to improve yourself. Strive for improvement, that way, you allow yourself to make mistakes.

Smile – A single most important action you can immediately take the moment you wake up. Smile at yourself, smile at the first person you see everyday, smile at your colleagues. A simple sincere smile creates a sort of feeling in your body that triggers joy. You might have heard "A smile a day keeps the old man gloom away."

Give it your best – Regardless of what task you are undertaking; give it your best shot. One of the way which you can find joy in your work is by giving the best you have. You wont blame yourself or anyone else if you have given your best.

Loving others – One of the best way to stay positive is by loving others. Love is a very powerful emotion. Use it, control it and make it work for you. If you observe carefully, most positive people are loving people. Either they love their children, spouse or pets. On the contrast, negative people tend to be frustrated with everyone. Start to love first yourself, then others.

Develop Enthusiasm – Heard of this term? "No life"? It actually means no enthusiasm in anything you do. When you don't have enthusiasm, you will not have a positive mindset. Develop enthusiasm in everything you do. One of the easiest but not widely known way of developing enthusiasm is this, "Act enthusiastic." Yes, by pretending to be enthusiastic, you will start to have the feeling of enthusiasm.

Greetings – Like smiling, greeting is also one of the easiest way to stay positive. Put yourself in someone else shoes, if he greets you, will you be delighted? How about you greet others? A simple word "good morning" spoken 5 times will have significant impact throughout the day. Try it!

Gratitude – Count your blessing. Sometimes we may not know how much we have until we lose it. Don't take things for granted. Be glad with what you have. Also, be aware that there are thousands if not hundreds of thousands of people out there do not have what you possess. So instead of being negative in not able to attain certain things in life, Count your blessing, be positive.

Charitable act – Its true that one of the most satisfying feeling is doing something good to others with the knowledge that he can't repay you back. If you have a skill, teach the less fortunate. If you have a dollar or two, give it to the beggars. By doing that, you not only cultivate a positive attitude, you also cultivate gratitude.

Forgive others – The worse feeling is bearing grudges. Especially when you have the choice or opportunity to forgive. Like every other negative attitude, bearing grudges will not only damage your state of mind, in the long run, it will ruin your life. Before you learn how to love, you need to learn how to forgive.

Encouraging others – Ask yourself, would you look up to people who have the ability to encourage and motivate others? Be the person you look up to, and others will look up to you. In the process of encouraging others, you will find that you too are encouraged. Andrew Carnegie once said, "By enriching others, you enriched yourself". I believe its true in encouragements.

Lastly, read this list over again at least once a week and start practicing it till it becomes a habit. Do it for the next 6 months and watch a positive change in you. I love what Wayne Dyer said "When you change the way you see things, the things you see change".

Have a positive day ahead!

Alcohol and Honesty

Irene, in her late 40s, had been in an out of treatment centers for years before consulting with me. When in treatment, she was fine, with no desire to drink, but once she returned home with her husband, Frank, and two adolescent children, it didn't take long before she was back to drinking. Even though she faithfully attended AA meetings, she could not stay sober once she returned home. She loved her husband and children and could not understand why she could not stay sober at home. Each time she went back to drinking, she would hate herself for her weakness, seeing herself as a deeply flawed, defective person. She believed that the problem was entirely hers - that her family had nothing to do with it.

"What changes regarding how you feel when you go home?" I asked her on one of our phone sessions.

"I feel trapped. I feel controlled and suffocated, like I can't be myself."

"What happens that make you feel so trapped?"

"I don't know. Frank is such a sweet and wonderful man, and I know that he really loves me. And I love him. I don't get what is happening that makes me feel so agitated and trapped."

I asked her if Frank would be willing to join us in a phone session. She was quite sure he would - that he would be willing to do anything to help her and help their relationship.

Frank was willing. In the first session Irene expressed to Frank her feelings of being trapped. Frank's response was to attempt to talk her out of her feelings by talking about how wonderful their life is. In this first session, I immediately felt Irene cave in and completely give herself up, saying nothing to Frank about how she felt when he didn't hear her and tried to talk her out of her feelings.

"Irene, in my experience, Frank is not hearing you at all and is trying to talk you out of your feelings. Does this happen often?"

"All the time," she answered. Frank immediately went into denial, saying that is not what he was doing and that it certainly didn't happen all the time. His voice was very firm and parental, as if he really knew what he was talking about. Irene went silent.

"Irene, what are you feeling right now?" I asked.

"I feel like I'm going to explode. I just want to get away and have a drink. I feel sick to my stomach."

Frank actually started to attempt to talk her out of these feelings and then stopped. "Do you really feel that way?" he asked.

"Yes, and I feel this way much of the time we are together."

"Why haven't you told me?"

"I am telling you right now and all you want to do is tell me that I am wrong and shouldn't feel this way!"

In subsequent sessions with Irene, I helped her to articulate all the things that Frank did that made her feel trapped and invalidated - and there were many. He would grab her breasts, no matter how many times she had told him that this didn't feel good. He would get judgmental when she wanted to spend time with a friend that he didn't like. He would even try to control what she wore. Invariably, Irene would cave in - and then drink.

Irene and I worked on her learning to speak up for herself and take loving action for herself - disengaging and walking away when Frank was discounting her, pulling on her, or judging her. She had always been afraid to hurt his feelings with her honesty because would be angry and withdraw for days when she did manage to speak up. I encouraged her to tell him that she would no longer be around him when he was angry and withdrawn, and then to spend time with friends, go on a little vacation with her kids, or pursue her hobbies when he acted out.

Once Irene started to tell her truth and take action on it, she found herself not wanting to drink. She was able to make the connection between her drinking and her abandoning herself in the face of Frank's controlling behavior.

Because Frank does love Irene, he was willing to address his subtle and overt controlling behavior. While it did not happen over night, Irene's drinking is no longer a problem for her.

The Other Side of Mother's Day

Mother's Day! The words conjure a picture of a loving mother surrounded by her children and loving family, receiving flowers, gifts, and mushy cards from her progeny, celebrating the sacrifice and love of motherhood.

This Mother's Day the above scenario will take place again, all over the country. It will be a wonderful day for so many, a chance to say Thank You Mom for always being there for me, for loving me even during times when I wasn't so lovable.

Mothers will be filled with pride and gratitude and all past transgressions will be forgotten, at least for the day. Tomorrow will bring everyone back to reality, but for this one day, it will be a time to unabashedly proclaim our love for the woman who gave us life.

As we go about our daily activities interacting with others, we'll hear the inevitable Happy Mother's Day greetings, from friends and even strangers, the cashier at the supermarket. This innocuous greeting, a kind pleasantry for many, is like a knife to the heart for the Other Mothers.

Who are the Other Mothers? We are the ones who won't be celebrating this Mother's Day in sync with the rest of the country. We are the ones who people tend to shy away from, especially on holidays and most especially on this one day set aside to celebrate us! Who are we? We are the mothers of a deceased child. To compound matters, we are not only the mothers of a deceased child, but we are the mothers of a child who is deceased from drugs! I can almost feel you recoil as you read these words. I know. I used to be of the same mindset until I became an Other Mother.

We may have other children, children whom we absolutely love and adore and would give our life for. That is a given. Because we mourn our deceased child, that does not diminish the love that we have for our other child or children. However, on Mother's Day the heartbreak of the loss of that child is more acutely felt, although we feel this heartbreak every day. From the time we lift our head off the pillow in the morning, until we lay it down again at night, no matter what activity is going on around us, our minds and hearts are consumed with thoughts of our child who is no longer with us. Our child who died from the disease of addiction.

There are 365 days in a year and each one of them has a special dedication, whether it be a nationally known holiday such as Mother's Day, Christmas, Hannukah, Veterans' Day or some obscure day such as National Blame It On Somebody Else Day. Whatever the day, there is a national something or other attached to it, quite often more than one. How about a National Mother's Day for Mothers Who Have Lost a Child to the Disease of Addiction? Why not? Is it any stranger than National Don't Go To Work Unless It's Fun Day or any of a host of other national faux holidays?

I'm certainly not ashamed that my child died of addiction. I'm far too busy being heartbroken every day to worry about shame. I am deeply saddened and tortured by the loss of my beloved child but never ever ashamed. He had a disease.

Addiction is a brain disease. The addicted person has no more control over their disease than someone suffering from diabetes or cancer does. Their struggle is just as painful and difficult for them.

Most addicted people start down their destructive path when they are children. Children don't consider the consequences of their actions and they think they're invincible. Ultimately they discover that it is the drugs that are invincible.

So on this Mother's Day while everyone is celebrating the joys of motherhood, whether you're already a mother or about to become one, I hope you will take a moment to ponder the Other Mothers. The Other Mothers who will be smiling on the outside while trying to quell the raging volcano of grief that is erupting on the inside as we fight with all of our being to prevent it from spewing forth and demoralizing everyone around us. We don't want that. We don't want to deny other mothers their well-deserved day of recognition. We also do not want you to join our ranks. What we do want is to have our child acknowledged, and remembered. We want them remembered for the kind, caring, loving children that they were, not for the disease that ravaged their minds and bodies.

Our children lived and were loved and are still loved. They abound in our thoughts and hearts every moment of our lives. If we happen to meet on this Mother's Day, please don't be afraid to acknowledge the day. You don't even have to utter those words "Happy Mother's Day." If you will just acknowledge our child, say his or her name and if you have any remembrances of them, this would be a nice time to say so. You can't hurt us by talking about them. In fact, you can bet if you do talk about our child, you will see a genuine smile envelop our face and I know that will make us both feel good.

How to Stop Drinking Alcohol - Alcohol Addiction

Do you wish that you could stop or control your drinking? Is the alcohol starting to take over and you feel that you need some help in regaining control? Are you fed up with all of the problems and aggravation that comes from being addicted to alcohol? Have you ever thought of trying a successful and effective way to control or stop your habit? The why not give hypnosis a go to help you regain a lifestyle that is right for you? Hypnosis could just be the answer that you are looking for now that you know that the answer that you find at the bottom of a glass does not help you.

As a hypnotherapist and author I have helped many people in my career to regain a hold on their life and take control of their alcohol addiction or alcoholism. People get addicted to alcohol for many reasons, however many of them end up in the same situation and this is not a great situation to be in. A dependence on alcohol can rip apart relationships with loved ones and can crush families leaving children with a tough time trying to understand what is going on with the person that they love so much.

What would life be like if you dealt with this issue right now? What would change over the next few days and weeks as you started to take control? What would your get back – maybe even things that you thought had gone forever? You owe it not only to yourself but to the people that need you to be around to make a success of controlling your drinking. Just imagine all of the great things that life is offering you and just imagine how much more you can enjoy them with out the drink controlling you.

Hypnosis works to reprogram the part of your mind that makes you… YOU! We call this part your sub-conscious mind and this is where all of your habits, beliefs and behaviors are kept, including the ones that relate to your drinking habits. So whether you want to stop drinking alcohol completely or just want to control your intake then hypnosis may be just right for you.

I wish you the best of luck in achieving success with your drinking.

Pursuing Happiness And Happiness Habits

Exactly how do we pursue happiness? We know happiness is far more than just money, fame or power. There are lots of people who have all three who are not especially happy. What are the secrets to living a happy, spiritually successful life? Are there reliable road maps to the state of happiness?

If you want to live a happy life, study happy people. Observe what they do, understand why it works so well and then adopt their behaviors and beliefs. We can choose to pursue and cultivate habits and skills we know will lead to happy, spiritually successful lives.

This is the approach we used to develop "How To Live A Happy Life - 101 Ways To Be Happier." Here are secrets from the habitually happy people we studied and interviewed:

Cultivate a sense of fun and share it with everyone you meet. Habitually happy people truly try to have a good time all of the time. Critics cry, "Don't be silly, you can't expect to have a good time all of the time!" Habitually Happy people reply, "I can!" Or, "with an attitude like that you will never be really Up or happy!"

Exercise your freedom to choose happiness. Decide who you want to be, what sort of person you want to become. Define yourself as a happy, spiritually successful person. Let that goal become a sort of role that is real and authentic for you. Try to be your best, spiritually successful self all of the time. If we don't consciously decide what sort of person we want to be, our environment and experiences define our identity and our destiny for us.

Rebel against people or situations that try to drag your spirits down. Don't hand control of your thoughts, actions, feelings and well-being over to annoying people or outside circumstances that can rob your happiness. Cultivate an indomitably strong, independent, positive good spirit.

Choose emotional independence. Decide how you want to think and feel. There's no rule that says just because something bad happens, you have to feel sad. Remember, you must be at your best to do your best. Choose actions and attitudes that help you to succeed and be happy.

Make Goodness a Guiding Goal. We are amazed how truly happy genuinely good people are. "Goodness for goodness sake," one said. Habitually happy people are extraordinarily kind, caring and compassionate. The Dutch proverb "Happy people are never wicked" was proven by our research.

Give freely and without strings attached. Habitually happy people are genuinely altruistic, they do good for the joy of doing good. They give without strings attached, they do not give just in order to get. Goodness is it's own reward. They rarely pass up an opportunity to be kind when it costs them or risks them little.

Don't be a people pleaser. Enjoy sharing joy and making other people happy, but don't depend on other people's approval to be happy yourself. Feel good by knowing and appreciating your achievements and all the things you do well.

Take care of yourself, value yourself. Habitually happy people value their time, their talents and their resources. They continually seek to develop themselves, strengthen their skills and gain a greater understanding of the world and the people around them. They value other people's time and resources as much as they value their own.

Be adventuresome. Habitually happy people continually explore, try new things and do new things to stay fresh and to continually experience difference and change. It helps them grow and maintain their enthusiasm and positive spirits. One commented, "I get bored with the same old stuff, I want each day to be new, different, something special." They try to make each day special.

Don't beat yourself up. Habitually happy people move from problems to solutions quickly. They know time spent dwelling on problems tends to reinforce mistakes they want to avoid. They don't condemn themselves for errors. They channel their angst over mistakes toward finding solutions or rectifying problems. They do not intentionally hurt themselves.

Avoid The Fault Finding Feel Goods - Criticism, blame, ridicule, bigotry, all falsely elevate our sense of power and self worth by finding fault with something else. These feel goods are fed by a negative focus. You cannot be truly happy by continually finding fault, focusing on what's wrong, judging or criticizing. Habitually happy people don't complain and they avoid people who do.

Have high integrity and live according to your values. When you live by the highest and best values you can feel confident that, even if you stumble, you have done YOUR best. Few things are worse than compromising your integrity and then failing too. Habitually happy people cherish good values and they live by them. They know happiness only comes with a clear conscience.

Love is an active verb. Love is an action, it is something we decide to do. It is an emotion we can choose to feel and to project and share with others. Love can be expressed in everything we do. It's not just something that happens to us. Love propels happiness. The more we love, the happier we become.

Don't be a snob, value everyone. Happy people don't have to feel better than others in order to feel good about themselves. They try to find something of interest and value in everyone they meet. They try to touch each person they meet with a smile and a bright, positive spirit.

Continually celebrate success. Habitually happy people continually celebrate success, their own and other people's successes. This fuels everyone's positive energy, confidence, desire to do well and propels people to achieve more. Celebrating success provides positive role models.

American Chopper Party Games For the Kids

The American Chopper television show has become so popular that even the kids have become regular fans and want their own American Chopper party games at their parties and celebrations. Here are a couple great games themed after the American Chopper show.

Zoom, Motorcycle:

This American Chopper party game is fun for the kids and is meant to be played while sitting down so the adults at the party can relax a bit too. Get everyone at the party in a circle and tell them that the group is going to start up one of the great motorcycles that have been tricked out on American Chopper. You'll start the motorcycle by saying zoom and the person next to you will repeat zoom and this will continue from person to person around the circle. Then you'll try and get the motorcycle going a bit faster by trying to get everyone to repeat 'zoom' faster and faster. Any person can stick out their arms and yell 'Eek!' when the zoom reaches them to stop the motorcycle. Though the motorcycle has to go into reverse when this happens. Whoever just said 'zoom' will say it again and the person before that and so on until someone stops the motorcycle again.

Chopper's Slogans:

Make up a bunch of slips of paper with the names of each of the guys and gals from the American Chopper party on them. You can list one person two or three times to make enough slips so everyone at the party can choose a name. Have each person draw one slip from a hat and give them each a pencil and paper. Have each person create a fitting American Chopper slogan for the American Chopper employee that's been drawn.

For the hardest part of the American Chopper party games each person has to begin each word of the American Chopper slogan with a letter from the character's name. Then everyone will read their slogans out loud and you'll pick the best.

The kids will really enjoy these two American Chopper party games. If you play some episodes of the show and have lots of good food at the party you'll have an even better time.

3 Reasons Why Happiness is Elusive

We talk about happiness every day of our lives in our elusive search for it. We see happiness as something external we can just pluck out of nowhere when we want it, just call it up when we want to have a better day. Moreover, happiness seems to affect everyone else except us. If you are looking to the outside world or to material things for happiness you are looking in the wrong place. Real happiness cannot be found in outside of us. Often we are denied happiness because we don't know how to begin the search.

Happiness has given us humans a lot of trouble for three main reasons. First, we don't know how to define happiness to suit ourselves. Everyone defines happiness in a different way. Quite simply, many people don't know what they want to make them happy so their choices change literally according to their moods. They believe happiness is something they work towards not realising, or accepting, that happiness starts inside of us first. It is not an ideal destination we spend our life heading for. It actually is with us every day, from this minute, and demonstrates itself in how we love and appreciate ourself. How can we ever find happiness if we don't know what it means for us?

How can we be truly happy if we are not clear about what makes us happy or we expect others to fulfil that need? Defining what would make you happy, whether your purpose in life, your desires or visions, is the very first step to being truly happy. It means when those things appear you will recognise them instead of living in ignorance of who you are and what makes you tick.

Second, we are always looking for happiness with someone else or with material things. We often believe that getting a new dress, a new car, new flat, new yacht will do the trick: to bring us that elusive happiness we have sought. But any material things give us moments of temporary JOY. They do not give long term happiness. Material things help us to enjoy various aspects of life that money can buy but they bring no happiness where we live without self love, without esteem, without love for others and without care and compassion. We can have everything in the world at our fingertips, but if we lack self-love and contentment, especially when we feel like crap, we will remain unhappy.

Address the Real Issues


Cue stars like Britney Spears, Robbie Williams, both in rehab, and Whitney Houston with the perennial problems with Bobby Brown. They might be very rich people but has their money helped in their search for self-appreciation and love? If we are unhappy with our nose, no amount of fiddling with our hands will sort the problem with that nose until we address the real issue. Many celebrities believe that fame and fortune will make them happy, but then reach their desired rainbow only to find that they left their pot of gold way behind them. Happiness starts from within, when we are truly happy with who we are and seek no approval. When we can accept our warts and failings and realise that nothing detracts from the magnificent and amazing beings we are.

Finally, happiness eludes us because we think we do not deserve it.

I met a guy once whom I really liked but we never got off the ground because he kept saying how he didn't deserve me or such a wonderful relationship. He was dwelling on the fears in his head instead of giving thanks for us finding each other. Naturally, his fears became a self-fulfilling prophecy because his negative thoughts began to sabotage possible meetings. As he felt he didn't deserve me, he immediately put mental barriers to enjoying my company. Somehow, there was always a crisis whenever we set dates. He then felt terrible about it, which increased his feelings of inadequacy and reinforced his thoughts of being undeserving even more, in an unending vicious circle. We cannot have the opposite of what we are thinking. We have to think as we mean it to happen to get the results we are after.

So begin the process of defining happiness as it means to YOU. What would really make you happy for the next few years? NOT forever, because we evolve as people and our needs inevitably change with time, and not just for a moment either. Then look inside of you to see how you feel about yourself and how that happiness will sit with your general contentment and esteem. Then believe you deserve it because we all deserve happiness. Some people are not just sent here to suffer and some to be happy. We all face the same possibilities. Our outcomes depend on the choices we personally make which then decide the direction we ultimately travel: whether towards finding that elusive happiness or moving even further away from it.

The Magnificence of the BMW Motorcycle

Ever since 1932 BMW has been making motorcycles that fall in the high-end class and that are regarded as being amongst the highest quality motorcycles.

They are known for excellence and for providing some of the most enjoyable motorcycle rides around.

BMW first introduced the R32 BMW motorcycle in 1932 and have been developing that particular style of motorcycle into something that has fan clubs all over the world.

This first BMW motorcycle had a peculiar engine, known as the "boxer twin" engine. It was designed for air cooling and its two cylinders protruded from opposite sides of the motorcycle.

Later during the BMW motorcycle development they also developed more traditional four cylinder motorcycle models.

Not only did BMW manufacture road bikes, they also branched out into off-road motorcycles and have made a name for themselves there as well.

Apart from the association with quality through the BMW logo and name, BMW motorcycles also attract loyal fans because the motorcycles give comfortable rides without sacrificing sportiness and performance.

Apart from some of its off-road models, the BMW motorcycle generally is a big motorcycle. However, drivers of these motorcycles will tell you that they handle like a dream.

Today they are four different series of BMW motorcycles. These are the F, G, R, and K series.

The F series has a four stroke, four valve engine and has a chain drive to the back wheel. The G series is an off-road motorcycle that BMW developed in conjunction with Aprilia. The R series motorcycles still have their trademark protruding cylinder heads but they have been improved upon over earlier models. The K series has also been developed into a motorcycle technological wonder. Both the R and K motorcycle series come with powerful engines that can drive a small car.

If comfort, style, technology, and stylishness appeal to you in motorcycles, then the BMW motorcycle will definitely be on your shopping list. On the one hand they come with a high price tag, but on the other hand you know that you are buying BMW quality, comfort, and style.